john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
