i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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