Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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