well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
