If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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