its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
