Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize