we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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