so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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