Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style