is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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