do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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