Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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