Ambien. No doubt about it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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