if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize