when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
