my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So squirting runs in the family.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I AM VODKA MAN
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
