Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
