yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
