i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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