have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
