So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
