I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
