did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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