Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're a waste of cheezeits
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
