We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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