i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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