how can u be prego again
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
