I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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