The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
