the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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