he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
