she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
