wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
