I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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