So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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