On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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