I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
