You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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