Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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