That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
