just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
