I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
