If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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