Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
