hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
