If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
