All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
try to milk me bitch
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