People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Never let your siblings swipe right.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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