3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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