Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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