I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
