im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
