I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
