So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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