I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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