I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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