i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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