I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
