he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
