what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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