I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
